Friday, October 1, 2010

Plane Shit

As you lusers may have noticed, I have not updated this blog in nearly a year. This is because I got a new computer, and I cannot imagine being stupid enough to put Linux on it. This leaves me with fuck-all to talk about. However, a few weeks ago some luser who still thinks it's 1985 tried to get me to use vi by telling me that it is "pretty much mandatory when you get out into the real world" (*snort*) and it's "available on all systems" (with the small exception of 90% of them). What century are these lusers living in?

Anyway, I am here to talk about Planeshift, a flossy MMORPG that has been "in development" as long as World of Warcraft and is still in beta. That is what happens when a bunch of basement-dwelling lusers think they can actually do something important. When I tried it five years ago, half the character models weren't there, characters walked about six inches off the ground, and the whole game was just boring and stupid. However, that was five years ago; let's see how they have improved.

Wow! You guys have actually de-evolved! You have managed to keep the same crappy features and add-in a bunch more! I particularly love the pop-up menus that provide me no obvious way to get them out of my face. If you watch the second video, you will notice they preserved the air-walking effect, and you thought the Moonwalk was impressive!

Can't see it and don't believe me? Here's a screenshot.

By the way, the videos are silent not because I used shitty freetard screencasting software but because THERE WAS NO FUCKING SOUND IN THE WHOLE GAME!!! Either some luser at Atomic Blue likes silent movies a whole lot, or some coder needs his head dunked in Eric Raymond's punch bowl. My god, Atomic Blue is almost as good as the GNOME and Evolution devs!

Furthermore, they now start me off in a closed-off tutorial land with nothing to do except (slowly) kill a bunch of rats. What fun! Compounding the fun is the fact that I COULD NOT TALK TO ANY NPCs! I honestly do not know how they managed to fuck it up this badly.

Wait a minute! It's because they're lusers!